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Apply These Steps To
Facilitate a Conversation
With Your Child.

Step 1

Shift to Value Statements That Explain Your Point of View

Help them understand rules in the context of our personal beliefs and expectations.

Examples

  • “I know that some parents let their kids drink alcohol.”
  • “In some countries, the rules about alcohol are different. But in our country, it’s against the law to drink until you’re 21. In our family, it’s important to respect the law.”

Step 2

Ask Questions and Have Conversations That Respect Their Maturity

As your children grow, your questions about alcohol need to create conversations.

Examples

  • “Do you have any questions about alcohol?”
  • “Okay, I’m going to tell you everything I know about alcohol and what it does to your body.”
  • “If you ever have questions about alcohol or drinking, here are some people you can turn to [list of mentors].”

Step 3

Allow Your Children to Practice Saying “No”

Having the confidence to say “no” is a skill that takes time to develop. As parents, we can encourage this skill by practicing in low-risk situations.

Examples

  • “Would you like to go to the store with me?”
  • “Would you like to go to the dance at school?”
  • “Would you like to play a game with us?”

Step 4

Support, Don’t Threaten

Stricter rules and penalties push kids away. Instead of cracking down, parents can encourage their children’s decision-making skills by pointing out their positive qualities and reminding them of our support.

Examples

  • “When the time comes, I know you’ll make good choices.”
  • “I think you’re smart enough to ask the right questions.”
  • “I’ll always be there for you, no matter what.”
  • “Let me tell you what you can count on from me…”